Psychological and physical abuse: logbook of an EMDR PEPS therapist via video chat
An inner journey to repair what has been broken
There are injuries that no one can see.
No bruises on the skin.
No scars on the arm.
No visible diagnosis.
And yet, every gesture, every breath, every reaction tells a story.
Violence—psychological, physical, sexual, economic, narcissistic—does not stop when the relationship ends.
It continues to inhabit the body, sometimes for years.
I see these traces every day, through the screen, in posture, breathing, and manner of speaking.
Because even before a patient tells their story,their body already tells it.
When everyday life speaks louder than memories
Even before my patients go into detail, their behavior reveals the impact of the violence they have experienced.
I see it in their everyday avoidance behaviors:
- avoid certain places,
- avoid certain words, certain voices,
- postpone procedures,
- no longer having to deal with anything that reminds you of "before."
I see it in protection strategies:
- anticipate everything,
- check everything,
- control every detail,
- remaining tense even in situations that pose no risk.
I see it in the silent suffering:
- constant fatigue,
- loss of confidence,
- the fear of displeasing others,
- the feeling of living "in a constant state of alert."
These behaviors speak volumes.
They reveal what the person cannot yet put into words.
Many people tell me: "
"
"I know I'm no longer in danger, but my body reacts as if I still were."
Because that's exactly what it is:
the danger has disappeared,
butthe nervous system hasn't yet realized that it's over.
It is this discrepancy that causes suffering.
And this is precisely where therapeutic work.
Would you like to learn about EMDR via video chat?
The double punishment: what victims experience
Victims often pay twice the price.
The first time when they suffer.
The second time when they still bear the scars long after.
I often say this during sessions:
"You are a victim twice over. First, because it happened. Second, because you are still living with the consequences. And that is deeply unfair."
This "second punishment" iscomplex trauma, or type 2 trauma:
not an isolated event,
buta repetition, a climate, a hold.
It distorts personality,
alters emotional responses,
undermines self-confidence,
and instills fear in the simplest of actions.
And in my practice, these victims representnearly 40% of my patients.
Some have suffered brutal violence.
Others have suffered more insidious forms of violence:
- narcissistic manipulation,
- emotional blackmail,
- constant devaluation,
- insidious criticism,
- persistent instability.
Visible wounds are not always the most painful.
Invisible wounds, on the other hand, last for years.
A phrase I hear too often: "
"
"It wasn't that bad... I wasn't hit."
But the question is not: What happened?
The question is:
What has changed in you?
If an event has changed the way you think, feel, love, behave...
then you have been hurt.
Period.
And it would be unthinkable for this double punishment to continue indefinitely.
EMDR PEPS: a different protocol, designed to rebuild before desensitizing
(PEPS = Extended Protocol – Present Stabilized)
Traditional EMDR often addresses the traumatic memory quickly.
But for victims of violence, this step is too premature.
That's why I created EMDR PEPS, a protocol based on my research and clinical practice.
The difference is simple and fundamental:
Traditional EMDR
Quick activation of memory → stabilization if necessary.
EMDR PEPS
- First, stabilize deeply.
- Install internal security.
- Reset calmness.
- Bring the person back to the present.
- Address the past only when everything is solid.
It is a complete reversal of the model.
A reversal that protects.
A reversal that allows complex trauma to be treated without reactivating the suffering.
Many professionals come to train in EMDR PEPS for this reason:
it is gentler, more stable, and more suited to relational trauma and violence.
What does a remote EMDR PEPS session look like?
The minimum equipment
- a phone or a computer
- headphones
- a proper connection
- a quiet space, even if it's small
Duration
→ 50 to 60 minutes
The sequence of events
- Welcoming the body
- PEPS stabilization: breathing, resources, grounding
- Gentle bilateral stimulation
- Exploring the past if the system is ready
- Return to calm
Video sessions do not detract from the depth of the work. On the contrary, they often offer a refuge.
Real-life testimony from someone who underwent EMDR PEPS therapy
(Review left on Google, reproduced exactly as written)
"I have been in therapy with Julien for six months and I think he is wonderful. I consulted two other therapists before him (hypnosis and psychoanalysis), but it was EMDR that really changed my life. It is Julien's method and words that allow me to process my traumas relatively quickly. Two years of psychoanalysis did not help much in comparison.
We also communicate via video, which doesn't affect the quality of our exchanges at all and allows me to be at home during our sessions. I think this is a plus, even though I would love to meet Julien face to face one day.
Thanks for everything, Julien!
This feedback reflects what many patients tell me:
video conferencing can be an even safer space,
and EMDR PEPS can really change the emotional trajectory.
Why video conferencing is a refuge for victims
Video conferencing is not a compromise.
It is often a therapeutic cocoon.
It offers:
- a familiar environment,
- less anticipatory anxiety,
- the ability to move freely,
- the physical and emotional security necessary for complex trauma.
For many, this is the first time in a long time that they can say: "
"
"Nothing can happen to me here."
Key points to remember
- Victims often experience a double punishment: what happened + what continues to live on in the body.
- Violence changes daily life, behavior, and the nervous system.
- There is no hierarchy of violence: only the impact matters.
- EMDR PEPS first stabilizes, then desensitizes: this is what makes it so effective on complex traumas.
- Video conferencing provides a safe, private, and protective space to rebuild oneself.
Conclusion
Healing from violence does not mean forgetting.
It means picking up your life where it left off.
It means extinguishing this double punishment,
regaining inner security,
regaining your presence,
regaining your breath.
With EMDR PEPS, reconstruction becomes possible.
Not through force,
not through confrontation,
but through gentleness,
stability,
and security.
And one day, without realizing it, you catch yourself thinking:
"I think I'm coming back to myself."
Talk to a certified EMDR practitioner to begin your healing journey.
