Childhood trauma: how EMDR video therapy can set you free

Childhood trauma does not disappear with time.
It becomes organized.
It becomes integrated into the overall functioning of the person.
It becomes invisible, but structuring.

EMDR— and more specifically EMDR PEPS, an approach that stabilizes the present before any desensitization — allows us to encounter these old wounds with precision, safety, and gentleness, even from a distance.

A child does not have the neurological, emotional, and cognitive tools to understand what they are experiencing.
They cannot contextualize or put things into perspective.
They simply record.

Neurobiologically speaking, children encode their experiences primarily in implicit memory:
a memory made up of bodily sensations, raw emotions, and automatic reflexes.
These are not memories that can be recounted.
They are reactions.

When the environment is unsafe—unpredictable, cold, intrusive, violent, absent— the child's nervous system goes into survival mode.
They learn to scan for danger, anticipate, keep quiet, please others, and become rigid.

I often write it like this:
"Children don't choose.
They adapt.
And this adaptation becomes their norm."

In adulthood, this norm manifests itself through:

There is sometimes a very specific moment during a session, almost suspended in time, when the person realizes that what they are experiencing today is not a "character flaw," but the continuation of an old coping mechanism.

 A patient recently told me:
"I knew I was 42... but my body was reacting as if I were 6."

Everything is there.
The body did not grow at the same pace as the civil status.

Childhood wounds are inseparable from attachment experiences.
A child develops based on their attachment figures:
their availability, their stability, their ability to reassure.

When attachment is insecure—anxious, avoidant, disorganized—children develop internal models of the world and themselves:
"I have to be careful,"
"I can only count on myself,"
"If I show my needs, I risk losing the bond."

These models do not disappear.
They become relational filters.

In my journal, I often write:
"Adults believe they choose their relationships.
In reality, they repeat what their nervous system knows."

As a result, many people unconsciously reproduce:

These are not errors in judgment.
They are unconscious attempts to repair, control, or avoid what once hurt.

Childhood wounds organize themselves intopatterns.
Emotional and relational patterns that replay themselves over and over again in different forms.

I see it in consultations:
the same scenarios,
the same dead ends,
the same phrases uttered every few years.

These patterns are often based on deep-seated beliefs formed at an early age:
"I'm not good enough,"
"I have to earn love,"
"The world is dangerous,"
"I am responsible for what happens."

As long as these patterns remain active, the person may change their environment, partner, job, etc.
but their inner feelings remain the same.

This is where EMDR is particularly relevant:
It works not only on the memory,
but on the entire memory network that connects emotion, body, belief, and reaction.

Childhood trauma requires a specific approach.
Directly activating memories can be destabilizing, even retraumatizing.

That is why EMDR PEPS always begins with the present:

I often repeat this phrase to myself during sessions:
 

This framework then allows you to address old memories without becoming overwhelmed, without breaking down, and without unnecessary reliving. Enter your text here

"I always overreact."
"I know it's not rational, but I can't help it."
"I feel like I'm always on alert."
"I feel responsible for everything." "
"I can't really relax."
"As soon as someone gets close, I shut down."
"I always repeat the same stories."

These phrases do not describe a weakness.
They describe a nervous system that learned too early how to survive.

Working remotely is not a barrier to childhood trauma.
It is often a facilitator.

At home, the body feels safer.
Vigilance decreases.
Emotions can emerge without having to be contained.

I sometimes write:
"The screen creates just the right distance.
Close enough to be accompanied.
Far enough away to stay safe."

Video conferencing allows for a more relaxed pace, continuity of work, and direct integration into everyday life.

Freeing yourself from childhood trauma does not mean erasing your past.
It means stopping replaying it in the present.

EMDR via video conferencing, and even more so the EMDR PEPS approach, helps to soothe old scars, transform patterns, and restore true inner freedom to adults.

The child did what he could to survive.
Today, the adult can finally learn to live.