Making a Successful Return from Living Abroad: Dealing with Reverse Culture Shock

And yet, something just doesn't feel right.

Via EMDR teleconsultations, patients rarely speak of “reverse culture shock.” Instead, they describe a sense of disconnection—a feeling of strangeness in an environment that is otherwise familiar.

It’s as if the system no longer fully recognizes what used to be taken for granted.

In my EMDR PEPSpractice, this type of experience is not treated as a mere phase of rehabilitation. It is viewed as an unfinished process of reintegration, often accompanied by silent grief.

It is this approach that allows for a nuanced approach, including when providing support via video conference following an international assignment.

When the familiar becomes uncertain. Returning to one’s home country does not mean returning to exactly the same situation. During the time spent abroad, the system has adapted:

When you return, these adjustments do not disappear.

In a clinical setting, we always see the same pattern: the shift doesn't come from the location, but from an internal transformation.

These events then serve as indicators:

Clinical experience shows that a return is rarely just a return. It is a transition.

An Invisible Grief Returning from living abroad often involves a loss. Not a visible loss. But a real one:

The difficult part is that this grief isn’t always acknowledged. Those around them often assume that “everything is back to normal.”

But in practice, we see a different reality: the system cannot revert to its previous state. It must adapt.

When this integration does not take place, the disconnect persists.

A system caught between two reference points. During my time abroad, my nervous system recalibrated its reference points.

He learned:

Upon returning, these new insights sometimes clash with the original environment. In clinical practice, we always encounter the same pattern: the system wavers between two interpretations. The symptoms then become signals:

If this phenomenon is not viewed as a transition, it can be interpreted as an unexplained sense of unease.

Rather than reverting to the past, EMDR does not seek to “restore the old balance.” It helpsintegrate past experiences to create a sense of continuity.

In this type of situation, the task involves:

This approach allows the system to move beyond operating in opposition between two states. We no longer choose between “before” and “elsewhere.” We build coherence.

Work where the gap is most evident. As part of the return process, video conferencing allows for work that is directly rooted in everyday life. The work takes place in:

It is in these contexts that the discrepancy becomes apparent. This framework allows for:

When traveling internationally, this continuity of care is essential.

Create continuity rather than a return to the past. When faced with this kind of experience, wanting to “go back to the way things were” is often ineffective. The system has changed.

He cannot return to a previous state. EMDR therapy involves:

There’s no going back. We move forward with what we’ve been through.

In these situations, the first session helps identify areas of disconnect, pinpoint the losses experienced, and understand the internal changes taking place. 

The work is being done gradually. This pace allows the system to adapt without becoming disorganized.

Returning from living abroad is not simply a matter of readjusting. It is a process of integration. When this process is neglected, it can lead to a lasting sense of alienation.

EMDR via video conferencing allows us to work directly on these transitions, taking real-life experiences into account. Once the system has fully integrated the experience, the sense of disconnection diminishes. And “home” no longer depends solely on a physical location, but on a restored sense of balance.