The expat imposter syndrome: "Do I really belong here?"
Logbook – EMDR PEPS Practice
When external points of reference disappear and identity becomes uncertain
When it comes to imposter syndrome among expats, I often picture a professional who has moved to a new environment… with the same skills, but without the familiar landmarks that previously validated their place.
The track record is there. The skills are there, too. But the sense of legitimacy is becoming shaky.
Via EMDR teleconsultation, patients do not speak directly of “impostor syndrome.” Rather, they describe a vague sense of doubt, a difficulty in finding their place, and a feeling of no longer quite belonging.
It was as if the external factors that confirmed their identity had vanished, leaving the system without a foundation.
In my EMDR PEPSpractice, this type of experience is not viewed as a lack of self-confidence. It is interpreted as a disruption of internal reference points, often linked to the loss of the usual external validation.
It is this approach that allows for in-depth work, including in the context of international video coaching.
Imposter Syndrome Abroad
When the benchmarks of legitimacy change
Moving to a new country often involves a change in status. A new professional environment. New norms. New standards.
What was once clear is now uncertain.
In clinical practice, we always see the same pattern: it’s not the skill that disappears, but the cues that used to confirm it. Symptoms then become indicators:
- Doubts about its legitimacy
- Need to overcompensate
- Fear of being “exposed”
- Constant comparison
Clinical experience shows that when external cues disappear, the system attempts to compensate internally, often to an excessive degree.
Let’s start by having a conversation.
Change in Status and Loss of Identity
A role that is no longer sufficient to define
In one’s country of origin, identity is shaped by a set of reference points:
- social recognition
- understanding of conventions
- known work history
- social network
Abroad, these elements are either partially or completely absent. The system finds itself in a unique situation: it must operate without the usual validations.
In clinical practice, this translates into a feeling of being adrift: “I know what I’m doing… but I no longer know where I stand.”
This disconnect does not reflect an actual loss of competence. It reflects a loss of structure surrounding that competence.
What's under the hood
A system seeking validation
When external cues become scarce, the nervous system intensifies its search for validation. But in the absence of clear feedback, it generates its own hypotheses:
- “I’m not up to the task”
- “I don’t belong here”
- “We’ll see.”
In clinical practice, we always see the same pattern: the brain fills in the gaps with negative interpretations.
The symptoms then become warning signs:
- Overcommitment at work
- Difficulty finding one's place
- Constant self-monitoring
- Mental fatigue
If these factors are not interpreted as a response from the system, they can be seen as a lack of trust.
The role of EMDR in this type of issue
Rebuilding a stable internal foundation
EMDR does not aim to “build confidence.” It addresses what prevents the system from recognizing its own legitimacy. In this type of situation, the work involves:
- Identify the moments when doubt creeps in
- Identify situations that trigger disorientation
- View the reports related to this safety issue
- Allow a system update
This work is not intended to persuade. It allows the system to no longer have to doubt.
EMDR via video conference: working in a real-world setting
Observe the square as it is experienced
For expats, video calls provide a direct window into everyday life.
The work is done in:
- the real-world workplace
- the living environment
- real-life situations
It is in these contexts that doubt arises. This framework allows for:
- a close observation of the moments of activation
- work that reflects reality
- more direct integration
In the context of international support, this close relationship enhances the effectiveness of the therapeutic work.
Would you like to find out if EMDR en visio is right for you? Let's have a chat together.
Example of international support
When competence alone is no longer enough to reassure
For example, I am currently working with an expatriate patient in North America who has extensive experience in his field. Objectively speaking, he is highly skilled in his work.
And yet, one persistent challenge:
- a moment of hesitation before speaking
- a feeling of not being legitimate
- error prediction
During the session, the work didn't focus on his skills. It focused on specific moments:
- a professional interaction
- a statement
- a look perceived as judgmental
These situations have made it possible to identify an earlier activation that was already present in other contexts.
The work involved addressing these trigger points, allowing the system to stop reacting as if it constantly had to prove its worth.
The Workflow
Maintaining stability within as the outside world changes
When faced with this kind of experience, seeking reassurance through external evidence is often insufficient. The system is not lacking in arguments; it lacks internal stability.
EMDR therapy involves:
- Turn off the doubt circuits
- Restoring an accurate perception
- Enable more stable positioning
- Legitimacy isn't something you build.
We remove whatever makes it vulnerable.
Preparing for your first session
Back to the support points
In these situations, the first session allows you to:
- identify moments of doubt
- identify triggering situations
- understand how the system works
The job isn't about making quick fixes. It's about laying a solid foundation.
Conclusion
When place is no longer dependent on context
Impostor syndrome among expatriates does not indicate a lack of competence. It reflects a loss of external reference points, which temporarily undermines one’s internal sense of grounding.
Video-based EMDR allows us to work directly on the trigger points, taking the real-life context into account. Once the system regains internal stability, the question of one’s place takes on a different meaning.
It no longer depends solely on the environment.
Would you like to take stock of your situation abroad? An initial consultation will help us determine whether this type of support is right for you.
