Hypersensitivity: Easing Emotional Overload During Video Calls

This image helps me ask a different question: What was already there before that last remark? It doesn’t literally depict the brain. It makes visible an accumulation of emotions that the person sometimes only perceives when it finally spills over. If we focus solely on that final moment, we risk missing the hours during which she held back, anticipated, smiled, and gritted her teeth.

I’d rather explore the possible adjustments than dream of a life without music. A conversation to postpone, a noise to reduce, a need to articulate sooner, a memory that deserves special attention: these approaches don’t all serve the same purpose. Yet together, they can help make the day bearable. Complete silence is neither always possible nor necessary. A sensitive life can hold intense joy as well as fatigue.

Sometimes one comment is too many. It doesn’t have to be a serious remark. Just a few words, a tone of voice, a silence. And everything that had been bottled up all day spills over. From the outside, the reaction seems out of proportion. From the inside, it comes at the end of a buildup that no one saw coming.

The word “hypersensitivity” describes this experience. But on its own, it does not explain why it occurs or what might alleviate it.

Feeling highly sensitive can relate to emotions, relationships, or environmental stimuli. This common term does not, on its own, constitute a diagnosis. Two people who use this term may be experiencing very different challenges.

One is exhausted by the noise and demands. Another is constantly anticipating the reactions of those around her. A third is going through a period of sleep deprivation that limits her availability. Their needs will not be the same.

So the first question I’d like to ask is a practical one: “At what point does the situation become too much, and under what circumstances?” This kind of clarity helps us set aside self-judgment and understand a situation.

We can be moved by music, a landscape, or a relationship without suffering as a result. The difficulty arises when every change takes a toll and there is little room left to recover.

It’s helpful to consider the unseen work that goes into interactions. Watching someone’s face. Preparing a response to avoid conflict. Replaying a conversation. This work can keep your attention occupied long after the encounter has ended. Fatigue, then, comes not only from what you felt, but also from everything you had to do to manage those feelings.

This hypothesis holds true for this individual. It does not automatically lead to the conclusion that there was a traumatic history.

EMDR may be considered when an assessment identifies distressing memories that contribute to the current difficulty. Its goal is not to suppress sensitivity or to create a more resilient personality. The aim is to address what triggers distress and limits one’s options.

Its effectiveness has been established primarily for post-traumatic stress disorder. The label “hypersensitivity” is therefore not sufficient to establish an indication. Inserm guidelines on EMDR.

In the third part of his *Ethics*, Spinoza proposes understanding the affects through their causes. I’m focusing here on a philosophical invitation, not a medical explanation: the shame of feeling can add a second pain to the first. “I’m upset” becomes “I’m unable to function normally.” So here we are with the emotion, followed by the court tasked with judging it. The court, too, consumes energy.

Part of my job is to help clear up this confusion. You can experience an intense reaction without it defining who you are. We can understand what triggers it without assuming that everything stems from your past. We can explore boundaries without asking you to become indifferent. This distinction provides a very concrete direction forthe counseling process: regaining a sense of choice where everything seemed automatic.

In my imaginary notebook, I would therefore write this: “Do not confuse keen perception with the obligation to absorb everything. ” A radio doesn’t have to broadcast every station it picks up. In everyday life, this sometimes means recognizing an emotion in another person, then realizing that it doesn’t entirely belong to us. This small boundary takes nothing away fromempathy. It allows empathy to breathe.”

To understand an outburst, I suggest looking at the day leading up to it with the same attention you’d give to the final scene. A strong emotion rarely arises out of nowhere. Sometimes there was already fatigue, an unresolved frustration, or a series of requests that you agreed to fulfill without checking your availability. These are elements worth exploring—not a set formula meant to explain every situation.

Let’s consider a hypothetical example. A person endures several interruptions while working, then spends a long time listening to a loved one when they actually wanted to rest. A casual remark at dinner brings them to tears. If we focus solely on that remark, we risk reading too much into a few words. Looking back on the day, another question arises: at what points might this person have recognized that their capacity to cope was already diminished?

The goal isn’t to monitor every emotion. Doing so would simply add yet another task to those that are already draining. The idea is to identify a few personal indicators that are simple enough to be useful: unusual impatience, difficulty following a conversation, or a recurring urge to be alone. You’ll come to understand what these indicators mean for yourself, since the same sign can point to different needs depending on the context.

Emotional calm isn’t always dramatic. You may still be moved, but you’ll recover more easily. A comment might still affect you, but it won’t dominate the entire evening. You may also find that you’re able to ask for clarification instead of immediately concluding that you’ve let someone down. These shifts provide more nuanced insights than simply asking, “Has my sensitivity changed?”

We must also consider the price paid to achieve a semblance of calm. If you are no longer overwhelmed simply because you’ve cut out all social engagements, your daily life may have lost some of its freedom. A support professional should be able to discuss this trade-off without automatically valuing the absence of visible symptoms. What also matters is the regained ability to make choices and participate.

Together, we can identify a few specific situations in which you would like to have more leeway. These will serve as points of reference as we work. You are free to revise them if your understanding changes. The goal is not to silence a part of yourself, but to recognize your experience with enough clarity to address it before it overwhelms you.

An initial session can help identify difficult situations, moments of emotional overload, and boundaries that are out of place. Before working on any memory, we explore what helps us stay present and how to pause the conversation if necessary.

Video calls require a space where you can speak freely and an arrangement that fits your current situation. While they can provide easier access tosupport, whether they’re right for you is something we’ll decide together.

You don't have to be less sensitive to ask for help. You can start by describing what you're going through and how it's affecting you.