Emotional Hunger and Blockages: What Role Does EMDR Play in Videoconferencing?

Eating can bring real pleasure and comfort. It’s not something to feel guilty about. The problem arises when this act becomes almost the only available response, causes suffering, or is accompanied by a loss of control. So, forbidding this response without understanding the need behind it is like taking away a chair from someone who can no longer stand, on the pretext that their posture isn’t ideal.

So I try to look at the entire sequence: what comes before, what is felt during, and what happens afterward. If relief is followed by shame and then restriction, the next evening already begins with an added burden. The person hasn’t simply “done it again.” They find themselves in a system that can perpetuate their own struggle.

It’s been a long day. Dinner is late. You eat, then carry on, with the feeling that something just won’t settle down. Very quickly, an explanation becomes clear: “I have no willpower.” It’s a harsh assessment. And above all, it doesn’t help you understand what just happened.

Before we talk about emotional hunger, we need to give hunger its due.

Insufficient food intake throughout the day, an irregular schedule, severe fatigue, and emotional stress can all occur at the same time. Eating for comfort does not rule out a genuine need for energy.

Therefore, we cannot conclude—based on intense cravings or a large meal—that the problem is purely psychological. A medical and nutritional evaluation may be necessary, particularly when episodes recur or are accompanied by food restriction and a loss of control.

The relevant question then becomes: “What events led up to the point when eating became the only available solution?”

It might be helpful to watch an episode without immediately trying to correct it.

This observation is not intended to become a new form of constant monitoring. Its purpose is to distinguish between needs that guilt tends to blur. If the relief experienced is very brief and followed by restrictions, the entire sequence warrants special attention.

EMDR therapy may be considered if an assessment reveals distressing memories related, for example, to the body, shame, or traumatic experiences. The focus is then on the emotional impact of these memories and their consequences, not on a promised weight loss.

When an eating disorder is present, specialized care is still necessary. The recommendations distinguish between different disorders and their treatments; they do not reduce them to poor emotional regulation. NICE, Recognition and Treatment of Eating Disorders.

Psychological support must be coordinated with other professionals. It is not a substitute for nutritional assessment or medical care when these are indicated.

In “The Techniques of the Body,” a text published in 1936, Marcel Mauss shows that the ways we use our bodies are also shaped by social learning. This perspective does not allow us to diagnose an eating disorder. He reminds us that eating is never a purely mechanical act, detached from any collective history. Meals can signify celebration, duty, consolation, surveillance, or a sense of belonging. Marcel Mauss, 1936 essay.

This perspective helps me ask respectful questions.

These factors do not point to a culprit. They help explain why a plate can hold more than its contents.

I also keep this note: “An emotional need does not negate a nutritional need.”

You can feel sad and still be hungry. Systematically looking for a psychological cause risks diverting attention from insufficient food intake or a health problem. Clinical precision protects against these oversimplifications. The goal isn’t to become a constant investigator with every bite. It’s to regain enough security and flexibility so that eating can once again become just one experience among many—filled with pleasure and sensory enjoyment, and with less internal scrutiny.

The issue of eating often goes hand in hand with a plan to gain control: eating less, exercising more self-control, and no longer being tempted by certain foods. Before setting this goal, I want to understand what happens throughout the day. A person may organize their activities in such a way as to postpone their needs until they become very difficult to ignore. The problem, then, isn’t limited to just the evening meal.

Consulting with a nutrition professional can help you examine your daily routines, dietary intake, and real-life constraints. Therapeutic work, on the other hand, explores what makes these needs difficult to recognize or address. Do you readily allow someone else to take a break, but wait until you’ve finished all your tasks before allowing yourself to eat? This imbalance may deserve just as much attention as the foods you eat.

It’s also important to consider what’s practically possible. Schedules, financial resources, travel, and family responsibilities all influence mealtimes. A theoretical suggestion that’s not feasible may simply add to your sense of guilt. We aim to understand your situation as you actually experience it, without assuming that you have an ideal amount of time, energy, or organizational skills.

When an eating episode is immediately followed by self-blame, it becomes difficult to examine what led up to it. Self-judgment takes over completely. It may give the impression that you’re taking action—because you promise yourself you’ll do better—but it leaves the sequence of events that led to the binge untouched. Reducing this inner hostility can make your self-observation more accurate, without trivializing a struggle that causes you pain.

If your request concerns weight, it can be addressed without becoming the sole measure of progress. Reduced feelings of guilt, the ability to talk about an episode without hiding it, and the earlier recognition of a need are different aspects. While they do not guarantee a change in weight, they can make your relationship with food more understandable and less conflict-ridden.

In a coordinated care plan, everyone must know what they are supporting. The nutrition professional should not have to guess the content of the therapy, and the therapist should not have to improvise a dietary plan. With your consent and when appropriate, discussions can focus on shared goals and challenges to consider. This consistency helps avoid receiving conflicting instructions.

We can also reevaluate a goal that has become too rigid. “Never again eating when driven by emotion” may be an unrealistic and unnecessarily harsh demand. Understanding the episodes that concern you, preventing situations of deprivation, and finding multiple ways to meet your needs provides a more precise path forward.EMDR, when indicated, is part of this process and does not replace it entirely.

During a video call, we can explore whateating is trying to regulate, what stems from a physical need, and what makes finding alternatives difficult. Sometimes, the first step isn’t to resist more. It’s to structure your day so that basic needs aren’t put off until the evening.

You don't have to have a "perfect" diet to come talk about it.